Sunday, November 15, 2009


Probably the part of me that people will never really understand is my sensitivity. Even when I'm not hormonal, I'm extremely sensitive. My feelings get hurt often and easily. I've learned to daily disregard certain statements.

Maybe the misunderstandings arise from my introverted-ness. In my head, I'm stung by the comments, but I need time alone to reflect and to analyze the situation, so I can discern whether or not I'm just being too sensitive or if I legitimately have a reason to be upset. Most of the time, I'm just being too sensitive, so I have to let it go. I undergo a complete change of heart and attitude towards a person, and I extend them grace and forgiveness in my head. All the while, this person has no idea he/she has even hurt my feelings!

So for me, when I choose to love them and when I deliberately act in such a way to show them I love them, it's a sacrifice to me. It's very intentional and I know the effort it costs me. But they don't.

And here's the problem. People don't see how hard I work at loving people. They think it comes naturally. To a certain extent, it does. But there's so much more to it than just the surface (as always). So when someone tells me I should work harder at loving people in ways they'll respond to, I guess I feel like I'm already giving all I'm capable of.

But I know there's always more to give. And it's only by the grace of God that I can die to myself once more and dig deep for another bit of love to give. I guess I just wish I didn't have to dig so deep.

1 comment:

  1. I love your honest heart...loving people is really hard and I too need to back away and analyze the situation. It's nice to know that I'm not alone :)