I never was very good at distracting my anxious mind with something else. At the end of the night, I'm left with myself and my problems. If I can't even stand myself, how can I expect others to be around me for the countless hours I impose myself on them?
I guess what I'm saying is, at the end of the day, I'm left with me, the big issues at hand, and God. And I can't focus on God until I've worked through my problems. I've never been able to just shove the big stuff to the back of my mind. It always seems to find its way back to the front. Maybe that's a good thing. I see it as a blessing and a curse. Most nights I just want peace, but I need to stay up for another couple of hours to process through my day, to remove every obstacle between me and God.
Tonight's just one of those nights where I have too much going on in my head/heart to waste it actually sleeping.