Tuesday, December 29, 2009


Things have been very interesting lately.

I had a really great conversation with a good friend of mine last night, and she was telling me her views on spiritual gifts, especially the more "charismatic" types. She's always been skeptical about them. For me, it's so clear that spiritual warfare exists, and phenomenons like demon possession and supernatural healings do occur. My friend has a harder time believing in these things. She said that doubt has always been a thorn in her flesh.

Days like today make it easier for me to believe in stuff like spiritual warfare. Today was a bad day. I've just been feeling so attacked all day.

Members of my family are encountering some tough trials. There's also a lot of discord going on within my family, too. On top of that, I've been feeling really weird lately. Like, not well, even though I'm not sick. I get these hot flashes and pounding headaches and periods of weakness that just come on and then fade away super quickly.

And if my friend's thorn is doubt, my thorn in my flesh is meaninglessness. Somehow it always finds its way back to me, which is so frustrating and usually my biggest struggle. Since I'm a pretty passionate person, and I need purpose, meaning, and hope to feel alive. How fitting that the one thing that can stop my passion is the one thing I struggle with most. I can't see how this isn't spiritual warfare. Ugh.

Fortunately, I have God on my side. And if God is for me, who can be against me? "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name."-Psalm 91:14

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