Tuesday, December 8, 2009


Wow, God is seriously blowing me away with all these promises He's fulfilling!

Let me just say, I have a love/hate relationship with English classes. I love it because it stirs up my passion for God and my beliefs, but I hate it because it has to get me really mad and frustrated before I share what's on my mind.

I took my English final today, so the past couple days have been filled with Modernist and Existentialist philosophies. I have previously stated that I hate Existentialism, but I don't think my hatred was adequately stated, so let me reiterate the fact that I HATE Existentialism. With a fiery burning passion.

Why? Because there is a lot of truth to it all. This world is meaningless, just a vanity. But Existentialism resigns itself to existing without hope. Christianity emphatically points out that hope exists because God exists. There is something bigger than ourselves. But I've been feeling super depressive and Existentialist lately. One of the tenants of modernism is the focus on self. Modernists are extremely self-centered and only do what pleases them. There is a blatant disregard for others' desires and well-being, and it makes their world so small.

After I finished studying last night, I went to go read my Bible. Leave it to God to give me exactly what I need in the form of truth. Rom 8:6-8 "Obsession with self in these matters is a dead end; attention to God leads us out into the open, into a spacious, free life. Focusing on the self is the opposite of focusing on God. Anyone completely absorbed in self ignores God, ends up thinking more about self than God. That person ignores who God is and what he is doing. And God isn't pleased at being ignored." (The Message)

I realized that I had been focusing too much on myself, and how I was feeling or what I wanted. I even made God about me! God, the infinitely tender Father cares about me so much, which is everlasting truth, but I made it about me. My view of who God is just got bigger. By a lot. He is not just a loving dad, but a KING who is worthy of all glory and majesty.

I felt very little last night, as I came to these conclusions. Little, but in absolute awe of the God I serve.

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