Wednesday, March 24, 2010

donate

Support me on my 7 weeks missions trip to Hawaii with Campus Crusade for Christ!

We'll be staying at University of Hawaii's dorms and doing student outreach, local service projects with churches in the area, and homeless ministry. Check out gosummerproject.com for more info!




Anything and everything helps!

Or buy my stuff here:

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demi

Mini rant: I hate how expensive personal grooming is. I just spent $100 on facial products and necessities (a sun protection kit, wax, etc) and I just feel so disgruntled. These marketers are totally capitalizing on the "youth in a jar" promises. My skin better look like this when I'm in my 50's:


I'm just saying...

Thursday, March 18, 2010

disheartening

Doesn't anybody stay together anymore?

I feel like the older I get, the more inclined I am to believe that life long love just doesn't happen anymore. No one stays married. People can't work our their crap. Divorce isn't just an option, it's the destination every marriage is headed to.

I just feel so discouraged. People don't know how to love, or are too selfish to love.

The older I get, the more I am starting to believe I'm going to be single for the rest of my life. And I would rather be single forever than to get married and get divorced, so don't think it's sad or depressing for me to want to stay single.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

grow

I know, I know. I just need to grow up. Sometimes my own selfishness surprises even me.

I wish I could just turn all my emotions off. I wish I wasn't so needy.

I think I need to learn how to be content with the unfairness of life.

Monday, March 15, 2010

spectators

I know, I haven't been posting many serious posts. But I'm currently LOVING spectator shoes. It all started with J Crew's Penelope shoes, which I love in navy,
but black and white is fabulous, too.

Seychelles does a lovely grey and gold version:

By the way, if I haven't mentioned it before (and I don't think I have), I LOVE Seychelle's vintage styling. All their shoes make me drool. I just wish they were more comfortable. =[

And one more pair that's not a spectator style, but I have to post because I find them irresistible! I'm such a sucker for shoes that are 1. nude 2. t-strap and especially 3. both

from modcloth.com

Friday, March 5, 2010

fyi

I will never become an accountant.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

dreams

Nighttime is always most conducive to day dreaming. I couldn't sleep until 5 last night, because new inspirations kept coming to me. All my glorious business ideas (yes, I dream of business ideas) and marketing strategies process themselves so seamlessly.

Here's my problem: by daylight, I have found enough reasons to talk myself out of almost every idea. How do I maintain my passion from the night before, and turn it into motivation to actually act on my ideas?

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

why

Why can't people just play nice? Life is just so unfair sometimes.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

kissing

I have a new conviction. After hearing this really great sermon by a pastor at Reality in Santa Barbara, I've decided to save kissing for my wedding. I don't think it's glorifying to God. All it does is lead to temptation. And yes, while it may be an expression of love, and it's certainly fun, I just think it's more important to guard your heart and mind. All the physical pleasure can come later.

Monday, February 22, 2010

frankie

As a lot of you probably know, I totally love Frankie B jeans. They fit me so well (which is nearly impossible when you're of my stature). I found this video which cleverly communicates what type of "lifestyle" this brand wants to represent. This is their target consumer.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

swoon



Oh, Lordy. I can't believe I resisted watching The Notebook for so long. I FINALLY saw it on TV tonight, and oh my goodness. I am winded. It just took my breath away (hah, yes I was going for cheesy). Man. Makes me love love. Makes me believe in romantic love-that some people can still make a marriage work.

Ok, enough estrogen.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

swimsuits

Anthropologie never disappoints.


Bolts-Of-Lightning Maillot $168


Ebbing Tide Maillot $178


Lake Ripples One-Piece $168

If you're wondering why they're all one pieces, I will admit that I'm all for bikinis and tanned tummies, but I'm considering going on summer project to Hawaii for seven weeks, and I've been informed that there is a dress code for swimwear. I'm trying to decide between the first two swimsuits, although I do love the classiness of the last one. Not sure if I have the height to pull off the second one, even though I am in lust over it.

Monday, February 8, 2010

pathetic

That is how I feel. Like no matter what I do, I am letting someone down. Or I am hurting someone I care about.

Why is living so hard sometimes.

I can't balance my life anymore. Ugh.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

feed

Why do girls feed off of each other so much? It's like everything is just heightened by a group of talkative girls. It's funny because our way of comforting one another kind of encourages negativity or a sense of entitlement to feel however you feel. Maybe we have too much grace with each other and not enough truth.

Something convicting: When it comes to things God despises, gossip is mentioned more times than murder in Psalms. My friend posted that on facebook, and it convicted me as soon as I saw it.

I think with me, I struggle with gossip simply because EPIC is a small group of people, so we're all up in each other's business. I never intend for people to be hurt by what I say, and for the most part I'm pretty careful about not letting stuff slip. But I hate it when something has happened that affects me and my emotions, because I feel like I'm put in a tricky place-do I keep my emotions to myself and not talk it over with anyone simply because I want to protect the other person? Or do I place my emotions before the situation and just talk about it and get it all out?

It's hard because I know it's healthy to talk about how I'm feeling, but it's such a fine line between that and gossip. I think I'll spend my entire life trying to figure how to balance this one out.

Monday, February 1, 2010

value

Ramit Sethi is offering a course on freelancing at www.earn1k.com/join and I've been really tempted to join the program. The only catch? The $500 price tag. Ouch.

Here's why I think it will be worth it:
1. As a Business student, Ramit has taught me much more about business, specifically marketing, than my professors have! Don't get me wrong, college is great and all, and I have learned a lot from my courses and textbooks, but Ramit pushes me a step further by helping me figure out how to apply the basics to every day life situations. Ramit > college
2. Ramit's no BS attitude, as well as his extremely straightforward, pragmatic approach to pretty much everything is perfect for my kinesthetic learning style. My professors just make me read...gag me.
3. I trust Ramit. Based on his preview lesson sample, I can tell the material is pretty much top-notch stuff. It's quality information and tips, not just "get rich quick" crap. He's also credible (NY Times bestseller, etc)
4. This is the MAIN reason why I believe this course will be worth the hefty price tag. All the tips and lessons will inspire me. Passion is what drives my life. When I feel like I have no purpose, I get depressed really easily, really deeply. Inspiration is invaluable. I know I'll do what it takes to achieve my goals, so long as I have the passion to see my goals realized. Essentially, I'm paying for inspiration, creativity, and motivation.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

sick

and busy. Just because I haven't been able to post doesn't mean I haven't wanted to. My life just seems really consumed by...living haha.

A couple of things I've been thinking about lately. First, I feel more and more averse to wanting to be in a relationship. At EPIC conference (which was amazing, by the way), I just felt so thankful to be single. Furthermore, I felt like being in a relationship and eventually being married and having kids would inhibit me from being as sold out for the Gospel as I feel I am now. I mean, if I was married and had kids, I couldn't just peace out for 7 weeks to go on a summer project, now could I? Sometimes I wish I could just live my life the way things are forever.

The other thing I've been thinking about, is that maybe I'm not really called on summer project. A lot of people have talked to me about going, and I definitely feel some peer pressure to go. But I don't want to go because of people thinking that I should; I want to go because God wants me to go. People said I should go last year, but I went to Mt Hermon. And I totally believe that God could have taught me a lot about ministry had I gone last summer, but I think where I was at last year, I needed to deal with my own personal demons before growing more. I think this summer I'm more ready, but at the same time, I haven't felt the personal call to go. I'm totally open to going, but we'll have to see.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

freakin'

Ughhh. I'm feeling so stressed. There's just so much going on. I feel like I have so many obligations. There's just so much I want to do, and so little time. I don't want to give up anything (haha except maybe my IT class...) and so I'm just stuck scrambling around and feeling like I'm going nowhere fast.

I just don't understand what my IT professor wants from me. I feel so over my head, because I have absolutely no technical knowledge whatsoever. How the heck are there no pre-req's for this class?? Ahhhhh.

Ok rant over. Time to think of the positives.

EPIC conference this weekend! Woohoo!
I LOVE my marketing class! So much fun.
And I love my life.

That is all.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

porn

I love sad songs. One of my favorite bands has a song called "Dating a Porn Star." It is a crushingly beautiful song. It's sung from the boyfriend's perspective. It talks about the tragedy of how young women today have little to no respect for themselves, and they give themselves away so easily, too easily. Here's my favorite verse:

The strip club crowd looks like a sad constellation
But I hold your heart like the sky holds the moon
I'm cast down outside 'cause they don't allow boyfriends
Star won't you tell me you're coming home soon

It's a total parallel to Hosea, which is what I've been going over lately. And consequently, a parallel to how God loves us. Even if people take advantage of us and cheapen us to worthlessness, and even if we begin to believe that we are nothing more than just pawns in a chess game, God holds our hearts like the sky holds the moon. And He loves us so tenderly and waits for us to come back to Him.

Oh, the song is by The Weepies. Check it out, yo.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

diversity

I often question my purpose. In life, in friendship, in everything. I'm someone who needs a passion or purpose in life to stay emotionally and spiritually satisfied. If I feel like there is no point to all my efforts, I easily get discouraged and depressive.

For instance, over the break, I was thinking about how materialistic I get when I go back home. I think there may be a direct correlation to how pushy my parents are about graduation as soon as possible and to start working in a high paying job. I realized I liked myself so much better when I'm at school. So what does that mean? I'm still pondering the ramifications of that realization.

As far as friendships go, I've been trying to figure out why God has placed me in the friendships He has. Some are easier than others to recognize how certain friendships have resulted in my growth in the Lord, in maturity, in different perspectives. Others are harder.

And as for ministry, last quarter I felt discouraged by a lack of unity. But I was thinking about that last night, and I realized that as long as we have the same common goal, we are unified to certain extent. And, that diversity can actually be a contributing factor instead of a detriment. The tricky part is figuring out how to tap into that diversity to produce fruit instead of frustration.

This blog was kinda pointless, just me kinda jotting down some musings I've been having at night.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

resolve

Happy New Year everyone! A few days late because of my extreme busyness! I feel like things are just rushing on by! I have a few resolutions and a few goals. Here they are:

Resolutions:
-join a business club
-declare my concentration
-start networking
-exercise daily
-stay under my budget!

Goals:
-teach a personal finance class?
-learn more about makeup application (become a makeup artist?)
-get a job/internship

And there you have it! Help me stay accountable! =]