I often question my purpose. In life, in friendship, in everything. I'm someone who needs a passion or purpose in life to stay emotionally and spiritually satisfied. If I feel like there is no point to all my efforts, I easily get discouraged and depressive.
For instance, over the break, I was thinking about how materialistic I get when I go back home. I think there may be a direct correlation to how pushy my parents are about graduation as soon as possible and to start working in a high paying job. I realized I liked myself so much better when I'm at school. So what does that mean? I'm still pondering the ramifications of that realization.
As far as friendships go, I've been trying to figure out why God has placed me in the friendships He has. Some are easier than others to recognize how certain friendships have resulted in my growth in the Lord, in maturity, in different perspectives. Others are harder.
And as for ministry, last quarter I felt discouraged by a lack of unity. But I was thinking about that last night, and I realized that as long as we have the same common goal, we are unified to certain extent. And, that diversity can actually be a contributing factor instead of a detriment. The tricky part is figuring out how to tap into that diversity to produce fruit instead of frustration.
This blog was kinda pointless, just me kinda jotting down some musings I've been having at night.