Wednesday, March 31, 2010

confessions

I'm really only strong because I am so weak.

I'm really only so confident because I'm secretly insecure.

I'm really only a cynic because I was such a strong optimist.

I'm really only loving because I've had my heart broken.

Through all of this, I'm learning that just because our God gives us grace doesn't mean we escape discipline. When God disciplines us, our punishment is His grace shown to us in tangible form. What a privilege it is to be able to say that our God loves us enough to give us a spanking when we need it! His discipline is proof of His great love for us.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

magical

It's these damn concerts that bring out the dreamer in me.

I just love it. I love how the music invades every part of me; the bass vibrating in my chest, the guitars swirling like some kind of mellifluous magic in my ear. I love that it makes me forget everything in life and takes me back to my safe place. When I was young and life wasn't so great, and I would seclude myself for hours in my musical escape.

I wasn't so cynical then. I believed in things like love and freedom and all those other ideals of youth.

I was just waiting for it all to happen me. I waited for my release and I waited for love to find me and free me. And I guess somewhere between then and now, I've lost that childlike wonder.

It was nice to return to that naivety.

short

Sometimes we can get so caught up in the long term, that we forget the importance of the short term. For instance, I realize I need to go to class because it will help me learn, which will help me get better grades, which will help me get a better job. However, I don't think it's too bad to simply skip a class on a beautiful spring day to go to the beach and hang out with your friends that will be graduating this year. I think there needs to be a balance, and sometimes I'm pressured to look past short term pleasures and focus only on the long term.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

evaporate

It's amazing how far 1.5 years can bring you. Where there was once hate, bitterness, and helplessness, there is now compassion, understanding, and pity. Amazing what a life given over to the Lord can do.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

donate

Support me on my 7 weeks missions trip to Hawaii with Campus Crusade for Christ!

We'll be staying at University of Hawaii's dorms and doing student outreach, local service projects with churches in the area, and homeless ministry. Check out gosummerproject.com for more info!




Anything and everything helps!

Or buy my stuff here:

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demi

Mini rant: I hate how expensive personal grooming is. I just spent $100 on facial products and necessities (a sun protection kit, wax, etc) and I just feel so disgruntled. These marketers are totally capitalizing on the "youth in a jar" promises. My skin better look like this when I'm in my 50's:


I'm just saying...

Thursday, March 18, 2010

disheartening

Doesn't anybody stay together anymore?

I feel like the older I get, the more inclined I am to believe that life long love just doesn't happen anymore. No one stays married. People can't work our their crap. Divorce isn't just an option, it's the destination every marriage is headed to.

I just feel so discouraged. People don't know how to love, or are too selfish to love.

The older I get, the more I am starting to believe I'm going to be single for the rest of my life. And I would rather be single forever than to get married and get divorced, so don't think it's sad or depressing for me to want to stay single.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

grow

I know, I know. I just need to grow up. Sometimes my own selfishness surprises even me.

I wish I could just turn all my emotions off. I wish I wasn't so needy.

I think I need to learn how to be content with the unfairness of life.

Monday, March 15, 2010

spectators

I know, I haven't been posting many serious posts. But I'm currently LOVING spectator shoes. It all started with J Crew's Penelope shoes, which I love in navy,
but black and white is fabulous, too.

Seychelles does a lovely grey and gold version:

By the way, if I haven't mentioned it before (and I don't think I have), I LOVE Seychelle's vintage styling. All their shoes make me drool. I just wish they were more comfortable. =[

And one more pair that's not a spectator style, but I have to post because I find them irresistible! I'm such a sucker for shoes that are 1. nude 2. t-strap and especially 3. both

from modcloth.com

Friday, March 5, 2010

fyi

I will never become an accountant.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

dreams

Nighttime is always most conducive to day dreaming. I couldn't sleep until 5 last night, because new inspirations kept coming to me. All my glorious business ideas (yes, I dream of business ideas) and marketing strategies process themselves so seamlessly.

Here's my problem: by daylight, I have found enough reasons to talk myself out of almost every idea. How do I maintain my passion from the night before, and turn it into motivation to actually act on my ideas?

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

why

Why can't people just play nice? Life is just so unfair sometimes.