There is a great divide between how things should be and how they are.
This is perhaps most clearly seen in my interactions with the locals here. I have found an amazing community of believers who treat their brothers and sisters as well as everyone they meet with incredible intimacy, as if they're already ohana. I have literally never felt so loved, accepted, pursued and valued so soon after meeting anyone. There is a part of me that deeply resonates with this treatment; this was how we were supposed to experience relationships. Their lives are so fulfilled, so rich and so joyful.
And yet, there is a part of me that is deeply unsettled with this community. When you have an ohana that is this strong, sometimes Heaven only looks appealing because you know that your friends and family will be there. In other words, you lose focus on Jesus and your community becomes your idol.
"Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs."-Jonah 2:8
It's so hard for me, because there is a part of me that loves the community here so fully, but there's another part of me that is uneasy with the complacency the islanders have. People here are so welcoming and friendly, but they are also very apathetic.
It's frustrating, because I would love for them to share our vision; to step out boldly in faith to further God's kingdom. I would love to partner up with them in ministry, so that when we leave, they'll take over. But when I look at the Christian locals, instead of seeing outreach, I only see inreach.
It's like two different worlds that I live in-the part that longs for deep relationships and the part that brims with passion, ready to make a difference. I would like to reconcile these worlds.
Sometimes it's hard to figure out which is the bigger curse-constantly be pursuing improvement or complacency with how things are.