Sunday, July 31, 2011

longing

I've been rereading Brennan Manning's excellent book, The Furious Longing of God. It's been a few years since I've last leafed through it, and it is such a reminder of God's reckless, raging love for me.

I remember when I encountered it for the first time; when the Gospel came to life inside of me. I was sitting down and tears kept springing to my eyes, and no amount of self-consciousness would keep them from falling. It was like my entire world had attached itself to this one truth; that I was my Beloved's and His desire was for me, and that was all that mattered. The words kept echoing inside my head, that I was so loved and that He wanted me as I am, broken and crippled and uselessly pathetic.

It still makes my heart skip a beat when I reflect on His glorious and relentless love for me. What could be better? Sweeter than honey and infinitely more satisfying. It's times like these that I wonder how I could have ever hardened my heart to the majesty and tenderness of the Gospel.

Every fiber in me longs for those emotional moments; where the Gospel is real to me; more real than anything of my physical world. I know that God's love is not just a feeling, but it's those emotion-driven moments that sustain and revitalize my commitment to Jesus Christ. That's when I feel most at home, most safe and most complete.

Those moments are when I can understand how one would choose to spend one day with Jesus than 1,000 elsewhere. I want to dwell with Him forever and ever and ever, as if the concept of eternity isn't large enough to hold the vastness of my desire for Him.

Psalm 23

1 The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
4 Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,[a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.

No comments:

Post a Comment