Random thoughts from this weekend:
I've written about how I feel like I've lost a sense of boldness in my ministry. That my love for people is expressed in a much more reserved, some would say timid, manner. I was reflecting on it yet again, and wondering if I was being a selfish Christian by focusing more on myself than on pursuing others. As I was having a quiet time, I felt like Jesus was assuring me that it was okay that my focus have turned inward. Instead of trying to make others feel loved, now I'm getting to experience God's love. I'm living out what I want others to have. It is so comforting to have that revealed to me.
What is up with people thinking it is okay to invite themselves along to everything they hear about? Seriously, people. Let others extend the invite to you, or just suck it up and realize that just because you're not invited along to that one thing doesn't mean you're not a friend anymore. And on the flip side, people who continually talk about events in front of others who aren't invited, realize what an insensitive jerk you're being and feel the atmosphere in the room.
It was literally a breath of fresh air to have an old friend come visit me for a week. There's just a level of comfort and ease that isn't always there with my college friends, who have really only known me for a handful of years, albeit important and transitional years. Having someone who really understands what I've been through and where I've come from takes a lot of pressure off of me to try to communicate my emotions clearly. It makes it so much easier for them to understand my reactions and thoughts of present situations. It was nice to not have to explain myself, and yet still feel more understood than if I had explained it in the first place. I felt like his advice for me just meant a little bit more than anyone else's.
And lastly, I realized that I've become much more introverted over the years. Though I am still very sociable, I've found that in general, the larger the group, the quieter I get.