Monday, September 10, 2012

discontentment

I have been re-reading a book that we studied in Bible Study a couple years back called "A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23." I will preface this blog entry by saying that I think Psalm 23 is one of my absolute favorite chapters in the entire Bible. The imagery is so evocative and serene, but when combined with practical knowledge of raising sheep, it adds so much more depth and insight to the Father's heart.

"The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want..."

The author talks about a sheep who was gorgeous-one of his prize sheep. But she constantly desired to escape his care and his pasture. She would find holes in the fence to escape, even though the author had the best pastures in the area, and escaping meant that she would be grazing on lower quality land. He likens her to the Christians who still flirt with earthly desires, even though they have the best care provided for them. They long to get to the other side of the fence, because they are not content with what they have. They have no peace.

Although I have come a long way in learning how to manage money, I think the Lord has so much more that He wants to train me in. It has been extremely humbling to realize I have been caught up in finding a job, caring too much about my potential salary or job status; basically, things of the world. I have been flirting with the notion that I need to be independent, so I can show everybody that I'm a success. That I've made it. That my $80,000 diploma was worth it.

But who really cares? I literally have all the riches of the world, because I have a place in God's kingdom. Surely that should be enough for me. He will provide for my needs, and if I really take the time to think about it, I'm reminded that I actually desire a simpler lifestyle.  The city has a way of distracting and warping God-given clarity sometimes.

Surely, I shall not be in want. I require nothing more than what Jesus has already provided for me. I think I need a heart change. I don't need a job; I need peace. I don't need money; I need joy and fulfillment.

Most of all, I need the daily reminder of God's great love and care for me.

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